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dishonor。 ̄ 
^These are all lies�察�each one� 院�said Hasan。 ^These are only excuses cooked up 
by Shekure so she could leave us。 ̄ 
233 
 
There  came  a  cry  from  within  the  house�察 �it  was  Hayriye  who¨d  screamed。 
Next�察 �Shevket  screamed。  They  shouted  to  each  other。  Unwitting  and  afraid�察�
without  being  able  to  restrain  myself�察 �I  shouted  too  and  ran  into  the  house 
without knowing what I was doing。 
Shevket ran down the stairs and fled out into the courtyard。 
^My grandfather is as cold as ice�察院�he cried。 ^My grandfather has died。 ̄ 
We hugged each other。 I lifted him up。 Hayriye was still shouting。 Black and 
Hasan heard the shouts and everything that was said。 
^Mother�察�they¨ve killed grandfather�察院�Shevket said this time。 
Everyone heard this�察�too。 Had Hasan heard�拭�I squeezed Shevket tightly�察�and 
calmly  walked  with  him  back  inside。  At  the  top  of  the  stairs�察 �Hayriye  was 
wondering how the child had awoken and sneaked out。 
^You promised you wouldn¨t leave us�察院�said Shevket�察�who began to cry。 
My  mind  was  preoccupied  now  with  Black。  Because  he  was  busy  with 
Hasan�察�he didn¨t think to close the gate。 I kissed Shevket on either cheek and 
hugged him even tighter�察�taking in the scent of his neck�察�consoling him and�察�
finally handing him over to Hayriye�察�I whispered�察 �You two go upstairs。 ̄ 
They  went  upstairs。  I  returned  and  stood  a  few  steps  behind  the  gate。  I 
assumed Hasan couldn¨t see me。 Had he changed his position in the darkened 
garden across the way�察�perhaps moving behind the trees that lined the street�拭�
As it happened�察�however�察�he could see me�察�and as he spoke he addressed me�察�
too。  It  was  unnerving  to  convene  in  the  dark  with  somebody  whose  face  I 
couldn¨t see�察�but it was even worse�察�as Hasan accused me�察�accused us�察�to realize 
deep  down  that  he  was  justified。  With  him�察 �as  with  my  father�察 �I  always  felt 
guilty�察�always in the wrong。 And now�察�moreover�察�I knew with great sadness that 
I  was  in  love  with  the  man  who  was  incriminating  me。  My  beloved  Allah 
please help me。 Love isn¨t suffering for the sake of suffering�察�but a means to 
reach You�察�is it not�拭�
Hasan claimed that I¨d killed my father in league with Black。 He said he¨d 
heard what Shevket had said�察�adding that everything had been laid bare and 
that we¨d mitted an unpardonable sin deserving of the torments of Hell。 
e  morning  he¨d  go  to  the  judge  to  explain  it  all。  If  I  were  found  to  be 
innocent�察�if my hands weren¨t red with my father¨s blood�察�he swore to have 
me and the children returned to his house where he¨d serve as father until his 
older  brother  came  back。  If�察 �however�察 �I  were  found  guilty�察 �a  woman  like  me�察�
who¨d  mercilessly  abandoned  her  husband!a  man  willing  to  make  the 
234 
 
highest sort of sacrifice!for her no punishment was too severe。 We patiently 
listened  to  his  fury�察 �then  noticed  that  there  was  an  abrupt  silence  amid  the 
trees。 
^If  you  return  of  your  own  free  will  to  the  home  of  your  true  husband�察�
now�察院�said Hasan�察�assuming a pletely different tone�察 �if you silently pitter´
patter  back  with  your  children  without  being  seen  by  anyone�察 �I¨ll  forget  the 
fake wedding ploy�察�the crimes you¨ve mitted�察�all of it�察�I¨ll forgive it all。 And�察�
we¨ll  wait  together�察 �Shekure�察 �year  after  year�察 �patiently�察 �for  my  brother¨s 
return。 ̄ 
Was he drunk�拭�There was something so infantile in his voice and what he 
was now proposing to me in front of my husband that I feared it might cost 
him his life。 
^Do you understand�拭院�he called out from among the trees。 
I couldn¨t determine exactly where he was in the blackness。 My dear God�察�
e to our aid�察�to us�察�Your sinning servants。 
^Because you won¨t be able to live under the same roof with the man who 
killed your father�察�Shekure。 This I know。 ̄ 
I momentarily thought that he could¨ve been the one who killed my father�察�
and that he was now mocking us�察�perhaps。 This Hasan was the Devil incarnate。 
But I couldn¨t be certain of anything。 
^Listen to me�察�Hasan Effendi�察院�Black called out to the darkness。 ^My father´
in´law  was  murdered�察 �this  much  is  true。  The  most  despicable  of  men  killed 
him。 ̄ 
^He¨d been murdered before the wedding�察�isn¨t that so�拭院�said Hasan。 ^You 
two killed him because he opposed this marriage sham�察�this fake divorce�察�the 
false witnesses and all your deceits。 If he¨d considered Black to be appropriate�察�
he¨d have given his daughter to him years ago。 ̄ 
Having lived for years with my late husband�察�with us�察�Hasan knew our past 
as  well  as  we  ourselves  did。  And  with  the  passion  of  a  spurned  lover�察 �he 
remembered every last detail of everything I¨d discussed with my husband at 
home�察 �but  had  subsequently  forgotten�察 �or  now  wanted  to  forget。  Over  the 
years�察�we¨d shared so many memories!he�察�his brother and I!that I worried 
how strange�察�new and distant Black would seem to me if Hasan were to begin 
recounting the past。 
^We suspect that you were the one who killed him�察院�Black said。 
235 
 
^On the contrary�察�you were the ones who killed him so you could marry。 
This is evident。 As for me�察�I have no motive。 ̄ 
^You  killed  him  so  we  wouldn¨t  get  married�察院 �said  Black。  ^When  you 
learned that he¨d permitted Shekure¨s divorce and our marriage�察�you lost your 
mind。 Besides�察�you were furious with Enishte Effendi because he¨d encouraged 
Shekure to return home to live with him。 You wanted revenge。 As long as he 
remained alive�察�you knew you¨d never get your hands on Shekure。 ̄ 
^Be done with your stalling�察院�Hasan said decisively。 ^I refuse to listen to this 
prattle。 It¨s very cold here。 I froze out here trying to get your attention with 
the rocks!didn¨t you hear them�拭院�
^Black had lost himself in my father¨s illustrations�察院�I said。 
Had I done wrong in saying this�拭�
Hasan spoke in precisely the same false tone that I sometimes resorted to 
with Black�此 �Shekure�察�as you are my brother¨s wife�察�your best course of action 
is to return now with your children to the house of the hero spahi cavalryman 
to whom you¨re still wed according to the Koran。 ̄ 
^I refuse�察院�I said�察�as if hissing into the heart of the night。 ^I refuse�察�Hasan。 
No。 ̄ 
^Then�察�my responsibility and devotion to my brother forces me to alert the 
judge  first  thing  tomorrow  morning  of  what  I¨ve  heard  here。  Otherwise�察�
they¨ll call me to account。 ̄ 
^They¨re  going  to  call  you  to  account  anyway�察院 �said  Black。  ^The  moment 
you go to the judge�察�I¨ll reveal that you¨re the one who murdered Our Sultan¨s 
cherished servant�察�Enishte Effendi。 This very morning。 ̄ 
^Very well�察院�said Hasan calmly。 ^Make that revelation。 ̄ 
I  shrieked。  ^They¨ll  torture  the  both  of  you� 院 �I  shouted。  ^Don¨t  go  to  the 
judge。 Wait。 Everything will bee clear。 ̄ 
^I  have  no  fear  of  torture�察院 �Hasan  said。  ^I¨ve  been  tortured  twice  before�察�
and  both  times  I  understood  it  was  the  only  way  the  guilty  could  be  culled 
from the innocent。 Let the slanderers fear torture。 I¨m going to tell the judge�察�
the captain of the Janissaries�察�the Sheikhulislam�察�everybody about poor Enishte 
Effendi¨s   book   and   its   illustrations。   Everybody   is   talking   about   those 
illustrations。 What is it about them�拭�What¨s in those pictures�拭院�
^There¨s nothing in them�察院�Black said。 
^Which means you examined them at the first opportunity。 ̄ 
236 
 
^Enishte Effendi wants me to finish the book。 ̄ 
^Very well。 I hope�察�God willing�察�that they¨ll torture the both of us。 ̄ 
The two of them fell silent。 Next�察�Black and I heard footsteps in the empty 
yard。  Were  they  leaving  or  approaching  us�拭 �We  could  neither  see  Hasan  nor 
tell what he was doing。 It would¨ve been senseless for him to push through the 
thorns�察 �shrubs  and  brambles  lining  the  far  end  of  the  garden  in  the  pitch´
blackness。 He could¨ve easily left without being seen�察�had he passed through 
the  tree

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